— From Marvel’s Wolverine and The X-Men #10, 2012.
There are those that may disagree with just civilly talking your way out of conflict.
This type of people probably feel that the easiest way is with a right hook to the face followed swiftly with an uppercut (with or without adamantium claws). Apparently, if you do it right, you only have to do it once.
But violence begets more violence, so the saying goes. Unless you’ve got Wolverine’s superhuman regenerative abilities, that path can be a real pain. Even Cyclops, who can just stand there and zap his conflicts away, chooses to have an open and honest dialogue (nicely illustrated in the scene above, which was selected to prove this specific point of view. natch.)
Similarly, in our unpowered normal human existence, we sometimes face situations where we get hit with that one nasty email that just ruins our day. Be it from a co-worker, your boss, a family member or even a stranger. The first impulse would be to respond in kind.
Don’t.
You might feel triumphant for a bit, but in the long run, it might come back to haunt you. Especially if the recipient is your boss. Maybe the sender just had a rough day and unfortunately that nasty email went to you. It happens. Covey’s 7 Habits espouses the Rule: ‘seek first to understand, then to be understood’. It’s a really good idea to live by, and you will be surprised how easily conflicts can get resolved by sticking to this rule.
Well, if your civil response doesn’t do the trick, then your last resort is to just ignore the instigator and walk away.
BTW, Lifehacker has a nice article on responding to rude emails.
Right. I’m just going to leave this quote attributed to Winston Churchill, down here then.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
